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2020.09.23 05:01 Lydia_Corsicana I don't talk about this in person. I just dont open up very well. It is easier for me on internet forums like this, so I am ready to share my story/ journey with my mental health here.

My experience with irregular mental health began 12 years ago, when I was 12. I am 24 now. I was just a normal 7th grader with a healthy group of friends, a loving family, and no history of childhood trauma.
One weekend, not long before Easter, I lost two very important people in my life. My paternal grandfather, who I was very close with and looked up to greatly, lost his battle with lung cancer. He passed in his sleep only 2 days after my paternal uncle, who I was also very close with and inspired by, overdosed on heroin.
I was cast into a very severe depression that I never fully recovered from. This was my first experience with suicidal thinking. My grades suffered, I withdrew into myself, and began on a steady path into what would become, several years later, the deepest and darkest place I could have ever imagined.
A few months after the onset of the depression, I experienced my first psychotic episode. It was surreal and terrifying. I would go on to have probably thousands of psychotic breaks over the next 12 years, some lasting a mere few minutes, some lasting weeks.
I would see terrible creatures, fires that weren't there, people being cut down in front of me, angels, strange people dressed in stranger clothing, and worst of all, situations of mass destruction and tragedy. I would hear familiar voices telling me to hurt and kill myself and telling me that I was a horrible person and deserved nothing more than to rot in hell. I would feel bugs on and under my skin and feel my organs trying to rip their way out of my body. Thse were all experiences that I perceived as real, but they weren't really happening. They may not have really been happening, but they pushed me further into my depressive state, deeper and deeper each time it happened.
Over the 12 years following the loss of my Grandpa and uncle, I had dozens of real experiences that were also detrimental to my mental health. Death of a serious girlfriend, losing patients during my 7 months as a paramedic, loss of friends, gender identity crises, suicide attempts, drug and alcohol addiction, my son being born with a heart defect and having to undergo open heart surgery 4 times before the age of 2.
I took hit after hit, heartbreak after heartbreak. People say a broken heart can mend, but mine didn't. I became heartless. Apathetic. I turned away from my family and the few friends I had left. I hid this from them so they wouldn't pity me. I trusted no one, cared about no one, cared less about myself.
I got off the drugs when I was 19. I thought getting clean would make the other stuff go away but it didn't, because the real and perceived traumatic experiences continued to happen. It stayed the same, even throughout dating and marrying my wife. Still just didn't care. Getting clean did help me reconnect with my family and friends, who were all, to my surprise, still blind to my problems. Not their fault though, I went to great effort to hide it. I was at one point, after a failed intentional overdose, given a diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder with Psychotic Features, and put on medication that never worked.
Fast forward to only days after my 24th birthday. I was finally marginally open to only 2 of my friends about my mental health issues, though I never let them know just how bad it really was. My friends and family were all supportive when I came out as transgender, but I guess I still didn't trust anyone fully.
I was weeks into a particularly bad stint of self harm and was ready to cut through my neck to once again try to end it. I was also back on drugs. The night I was ready to finally kill myself successfully, I had a single moment of humanity where I realized how it would effect my wife and children, and had the courage to cry for help. My best friends helped me, forced me, to go to the ER and request admittance to a psychiatric hospital.
I was there for 18 days. I was rediagnosed as Schizophrenic, then diagnosed again with Depressive Schizoaffective Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I was put on meds that mostly worked.
Now, almost a year later, I am still depressed, but nowhere close to as severely. I haven't had a major psychotic episode either. I am still paranoid and apathetic and distrustful but it's not disabling. I am 1 year drug free, 1 year self harm free, and with only 1 exception, free of suicidal thoughts. Looking back on it now, I see that I would have had an amazing support system had I turned to friends and family for help back in the beginning when I was 12. I still have a long way to go, but I am truly getting better.
For half of my life, from any given point in time, I never expected to still be alive 3 months down the road. If you are still going through mental health crises, and take only one thing away from my story, let it be this:
There is always help available if you truly want it. No matter how hopeless or inescapable your situation seems, there is always a way out.
I used to think death was the only way out, and truth be told, I should be dead. But im not, and for the first time since I was a kid, I am happy about that. I get to watch my kids grow up, I get to live my life the way I want to and be who I want to be. I get that second chance, really my 11th or 12th chance, and if somehow I of all people deserve that, then so do all of you.
Thank you for reading this.
submitted by Lydia_Corsicana to mentalhealth [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 04:48 br2088 Are you able to forgive a friend/crush who wasn’t very nice to you years ago?

I don’t even know how to go about this and am not even sure what I’m asking so bear with me on this.
I’m a 32F, been in the same relationship for 8 years (married for 3), but prior to this relationship I was a bit of a wild child. I came from a very bad background that is too much to dive into detail with but to sum it up - crazy parents, CPS, encountered every type of abuse possible, had the role model of a very unhealthy marriage until it fell apart when I was 14, raised my younger siblings, moved out with them at 17, etc. (basically like 1/3 of everyone else out in the world has dealt with). While I am generally told I’m a nice person (INFJ personality), I struggled immensely in the relationship department. I think a lot of it had to do with my upbringing, losing my virginity by being taken advantage of at 19, and just the fear of not being completely independent. I unfortunately got around quite a bit from 18-24 was pretty cold towards the guys I hooked up or were dating (some of the guys were extremely nice and I was undeserving of them and some were...well...not so nice).
I have done an extensive amount of work on myself to become the person I am today and have been in a stable relationship since 24, but there’s one thing that still haunts me.
There was one guy from high school who was a good friend and was someone I occasionally messed around with (never hooked up because he wanted to save himself for his wife one sat and I respected this). Looking back this guy was everything a girl could want on their checklist - handsome, kind as could be, very patient, had a great family, was secure in his moral and beliefs, very respectful, and just all around a great person. So many times this person offered to take me out, to cook for me, lended me money when I was struggling without me ever having to ask, picked me up when I needed a ride, and he did all this even though I wouldn’t date with him. If anything I pushed him away out of fear and can even recall times I wasn’t so nice to him. I can sit here and use the excuse of “I was insecure, didn’t feel like I deserved love like that from someone, I came from a bad upbringing”, etc. but the core of it is I was just a shty f*ing person who was extremely selfish and have had a huge hole of regret for years that I treated him this way.
We are both married (my husband is aware of this for anyone wondering) so I want to be extremely respectful and have thought many times about reaching out to apologize, but usually lean on the side of not apologizing to him because it seems selfish (me digging up old wounds to apologize because I feel awful instead of thinking “Is that healthy/what’s best for him?”). I also genuinely want to thank him too for instilling a sense of how I should be treated and what to look for in a guy. I truly think it’s because of that, that I took some of that when first dating my husband.
This literally bugs me at least a couple of times a month and seems to get worse as the years go on (I don’t know why). I’ve been wanting to apologize quite awhile but always chicken out, out of fear of possibly disrespecting his marriage. I guess some part of me worries that maybe I messed up or destroyed someone (even in a small way) who was so selfless and so kind to me when I didn’t deserve it. The other part just feels such a deep remorse to the point it can bring me to tears because I was so ugly to him on many occasions.
I suppose my question is, if you have been on the other end of this would you want an apology? Are you still upset with a person who treated you this way when all you did was try to help them years later? Do you hold any resentment for them? What was your experience?
If you are/were married would you be pissed if someone sent your spouse an apology (I would make sure to put how happy I am he is with someone who appreciates him and I would wish them both well; I would also mention my husband)? Would you rather they didn’t?
If you have been in my shoes, what was was your experience?
TL;DR: High school friend/fling was incredibly nice to me despite me being an awful person and I’m wondering if I should reach out and apologize.
submitted by br2088 to relationships [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 04:28 br2088 Are you able to forgive a friend/crush who wasn’t very nice to you years ago?

Trigger warning: abuse, rape
I don’t even know how to go about this and am not even sure what I’m asking so bear with me on this.
I’m a 32F, been in the same relationship for 8 years (married for 3), but prior to this relationship I was a bit of a wild child. I came from a very bad background that is too much to dive into detail with but to sum it up - crazy parents, CPS, encountered every type of abuse possible, had the role model of a very unhealthy marriage until it fell apart when I was 14, raised my younger siblings, moved out with them at 17, etc. (basically like 1/3 of everyone else out in the world has dealt with). While I am generally told I’m a nice person (INFJ personality), I struggled immensely in the relationship department. I think a lot of it had to do with my upbringing, losing my virginity by being raped at 19, and just the fear of not being completely independent. I unfortunately got around quite a bit from 18-24 and was pretty cold towards the guys I hooked up with or were dating (some of the guys were extremely nice and I was undeserving of them and some were...well...not so nice).
I have done an extensive amount of work on myself to become the person I am today and have been in a stable relationship since 24, but there’s one thing that still haunts me.
There was one guy from high school who was a good friend and was someone I occasionally messed around with (never hooked up because he wanted to save himself for his wife one sat and I respected this). Looking back this guy was everything a girl could want on their checklist - handsome, kind as could be, very patient, had a great family, was secure in his moral and beliefs, very respectful, and just all around a great person. So many times this person offered to take me out, to cook for me, lended me money when I was struggling without me ever having to ask, picked me up when I needed a ride, and he did all this even though I wouldn’t date with him. If anything I pushed him away out of fear and can even recall times I wasn’t so nice to him. I can sit here and use the excuse of “I was insecure, didn’t feel like I deserved love like that from someone, I came from a bad upbringing”, etc. but the core of it is I was just a shty f*ing person who was extremely selfish and have had a huge hole of regret for years that I treated him this way.
We are both married (my husband is aware of this for anyone wondering) so I want to be extremely respectful and have thought many times about reaching out to apologize, but usually lean on the side of not apologizing to him because it seems selfish (me digging up old wounds to apologize because I feel awful instead of thinking “Is that healthy/what’s best for him?”). I also genuinely want to thank him too for instilling a sense of how I should be treated and what to look for in a guy. I truly think it’s because of that, that I took some of that when first dating my husband.
This literally bugs me at least a couple of times a month and seems to get worse as the years go on (I don’t know why). I’ve been wanting to apologize quite awhile but always chicken out, out of fear of possibly disrespecting his marriage. I guess some part of me worries that maybe I messed up or destroyed someone (even in a small way) who was so selfless and so kind to me when I didn’t deserve it. The other part just feels such a deep remorse to the point it can bring me to tears because I was so ugly to him on many occasions.
I suppose my question is, if you have been on the other end of this would you want an apology? Are you still upset with a person who treated you this way when all you did was try to help them years later? Do you hold any resentment for them? What was your experience?
If you are/were married would you be pissed if someone sent your spouse an apology (I would make sure to put how happy I am he is with someone who appreciates him and I would wish them both well; I would also mention my husband)? Would you rather they didn’t?
If you have been in my shoes, what was was your experience?
TL;DR: High school friend/fling was incredibly nice to me despite me being an awful person and I’m wondering if I should reach out and apologize.
submitted by br2088 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 02:19 adoboguy I revived my Nexus 7 (2013)!

Here's some of the issues I was facing with the tablet:
2 years ago, I decided to just get an Amazon Fire HD10 for $99 and replace my aging Nexus 7 as I couldn't decide on a worthy successor to it for the price. The amazon tablet was on sale, it had a bigger screen and I can easily sideload the Play Store on it. Pulled the trigger on the Fire HD10 and stuffed the Nexus 7 in a drawer, out of sight, out of mind.
Fast forward to last weekend where I found my Nexus tablet while doing some 'fall cleaning' around the house. Memories of my first Android tablet started to overwhelm me and I thought to myself, "Let's dust her off and see if she still has some life in her".
Its been awhile since I've flashed ROMs, custom recovery, and rooting. It felt intimidating at first, but I made sure to read and re-read the instructions for whatever I was downloading and followed the instructions exactly. Once I started getting into some ADB commands, custom recovery, flashing zips, etc, I was in my comfort zone once again.
Here's what I ended up doing on Sunday night:
Thanks for reading my journey into reviving my tablet. I hope this encourages others with a Nexus 7 laying around thinking its dead in the water. Its not dead yet! Give it some tender, loving, care and it can still hang with the best of them!
submitted by adoboguy to Nexus7 [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 00:20 PyrisManaburst Entitled (and abusive) In-Laws complain they pushed my family out of their home

Couple disclaimers : I'm 100% certain the in-laws are entitled, but if I'm advised this belongs in another subreddit, I will happily move it elsewhere. I just need to vent. Alot.
Second, its a long one. Coming on 2 years of this.
CW: Abuse, Self-harm (not mine, mentioned)
So, I (23M) am happily married to my wife(26F) and our young(1yo) son has brought us mostly joy, if not a little stress. I'm not too happily married to my in-laws, as since the beginning of this story, my wife's Step-Father (that's a loaded statement but I'll have to make relevant a bit later) has proven to be pretty toxic.
I met my wife a few years ago, and we hit it off through mutual interests, quickly falling in love and began to date within the year, after a messy breakup with my ex. Within 3 months we were ready to get engaged, and in my iffy housing situation (my ex had kicked me out of our apartment and convinced my roomates it had been my choice) we had arranged for me to move in with her and her parents.
Her SF was... comeoffish, to say the least. The family (2 younger brothers, one of which was a teen, and the mom) explained that he had been in a car accident and suffered from chronic pain and brain damage (as I understood it) that basically erased his filter. I initially thought it couldn't be that bad.
Well it wasn't long before the rants began, about how he was the only person cleaning in the house, only one doing housework, everyone is lazy, etc. This bugged me, but it wasn't terrible. I figured his pain matched with us taking time to relax after our full time jobs was frustrating, and I mistakenly assumed it didn't apply to my then fiancée and I since we did most of the dishes and cooking, and the boys would hide away most of the day, including Steve( BIL name changed for obvious reasons), who was the part time faher of a 3 (now 4) year old boy.
The first time I got upset about it, SF decided that, after encouraging us to set up our PS4 in the living room, we were lazy because we were gaming while no one else was home. I was confused, especially since we'd again just been the only ones bothering to clean the kitchen, but when I vented to my fiancée, she said it was normal and that he couldn't control himself. This rubbed me the wrong way, but I was by most definitions a tenant in the home, so I tanked it and moved on.
Here is a quick rundown I will shoehorn in to paint a clear picture of how awful this could get :
SF would consistently berate anyone not doing housework, pushing most people to stay in their rooms (comfort zones that were regularly intruded upon), but then both parents would complain that the living room was never used and that the dogs were unwatched.
SF would also make a huge fit if my wife were to dare ask to sleepover somewhere (she was 24), saying thats how her brothers got pregnant (both of them had kids around 21). He would also throw a fit whenever we would go out to DND (where we'd met) as we were "avoiding responsibility".
When he learned I was French Canadian, he began ranting about how they all drive bad, how stupid they are for wanting to seperate from the rest of the country (Author's note : anyone who knows what this means also should know that a very small percentage want to split), etc.
Any time someone would complain or mention aches/pains he would rant about how they don't know true pain and he has it worse. The same would happen if someone mentioned being bullied. He was deaf, so he had it worse.
The final piece that keyed me in to needing to get the fuck out eventually, were about the youngest BIL, we'll call him Marcus. Marcus, at the suggestion of my wife (before I met her) had come out to his parents as Bi. They had not taken it well, and so he had gone through a rather deep depression that I believe he still struggles with, but has help from actual supporters. After he'd gone through the worst of it (to date) he admitted to self harming. His father's reaction was to get upset and rant that his own son was accusing him of being a bad parent. Learning that had happened, I quietly requested we look for homes to my wife.
The rants became more and more awful as time went on, especially as my fiancée became pregnant and we moved up to wedding to have a bit of legal protection for the baby.
My wife-to-be's stress was high and she required more and more help around the house, as her pregnancy became too difficult to keep working in a fast food restaurant, so.she would spend most of her time trying to convince her brothers to help her, bur was met with dismissal and resistance. Eventually, she became angry as nothing had moved in months, and she was becoming unable to do any housework. It was clear, however, that she was expected to do most of it as "she was home more now."
When she finally snapped, her parents berated her, stating that "imagine how your brothers feel." "Consider being in their shoes. They don't want to switch rooms again, they are getting a downgrade" and that kind of stuff. Meanwhile we were searching for homes because the presence of all these people, and 5 dogs, was surpassing a legal limit, which had been hammered in to our minds by the fact that the words CPS frightened everyone, because BIL's son could be "taken at any moment."
This is where "Step-Father" becomes relevant. My wife's parental figure was actually not her father, not legally or biologically. He made it very clear to her, even though he'd been with her her whole life. He was a white man, unlike my wife's biological dad, and he'd never let her or her mother forget it. (Constantly telling his wife that she prefers "Black dick" and hammering in the fact that my wife wasn't his, and that she is different to the rest of her family) On one of his birthdays, they had brought him adoption papers, thinking it would make him happy, but he refused to sign them. This broke my wife's heart.
So when we got to planning the wedding ceremony, we expected him to give the bride away. Convincing him to do so was like pulling teeth. It took most of the remaining time to do so, and even then I believe he only did it because if he hadn't there would be massive uproar, as his little pod of a household was not the only one present. There were roughly 60 guests.
I forgave him, believing we'd be able to leave soon, but funds, market and so many other factors were not helping. Not to mention the wedding cost more than we though it would. In what we thought was a helpful move, MIL decided to foot what she could (and that we hadn't paid due to maxing out my CC) on her owm CC. This bit us in the ass later.
Eventually, our beautiful baby boy was born, though the birthing process met a complication that forced the doctors to perform a C-Section. This was to leave my wife in recovery for 3 months. She was explicitly told by the doctor not to lift anything heavier than her baby.
Well, that idea crashed a week later, when she was again berated for not doing housework, for the same reasons. (I was back at work full time because we needed the income more than ever) This continued for a few months before I eventually came home exhausted one day, and a few minutes later, SF and Marcus got into it. Bad.
SF was upset and yelling because Marcus had requested to go out and see a friend. Marcus had been caught a week prior sneaking out in the middle of the night to see aaid friend, so SF adamantly refused. Imo, that was reasonable. The yelling that followed, not so much. The things said? Even less so.
As my wife was breastfeeding in the living room, adjacent to the room where this is happening, we hear things being thrown, bangs and loud slams. SF yells that this friend is afraid to face the music, and my wife and I are terrified to even breathe. Eventually, Marcus states that his friend wasn't afraid, he was the one preventing her from coming due to this exact attitude. This made SF fly into a rage, and he slammed something, which prompted Marcus to come to the back door, right next to the living room. SF followed and grabbed him by the back of the neck, and while I swear I saw a punch land, I've been told it didn't happen.
Marcus flinches and accidently hits SF, which prompts SF to drag him back into the other room. I hear him tell Marcus that if he wants to kill himself, they can both go stand out on the highway, "Since I'm such a horrinble person!"
The fight continues for a while, and when it ends, SF comes to tell us he wanted us to help him "control" his son, a story that evolved into "my son was out of control" when he tells it to parties that were not present at the time.
When MIL comes home, she is told "Hey, I attacked our son!" She doesn't even flinch, and when her conversation with SF is over, she goes upstairs to yell at Marcus. I'm dumbfounded, scared and frankly so uncomfortable that I remain silent for the entire night, until I go to bed, but end up having some sort of nervous breakdown, crying and curling into a ball.
The next day I go to work and have anxiety my whole shift. I eventually tell my wife I can't live there, and I can't leave my son to grow up in that environment. I decide to go to my parents house, in the town neighboring the one we lived in. My parents don't ask questions and come pick us up. My wife wasn't happy, but came anyway.
Once safe, we had a fight, as she felt I forced her to choose. She felt she was betraying her parents by moving out like her younger brother had. She felt like her feelings didn't matter.
I told her that her feelings did matter, but by the way her family acted when this happened, it was normal to her. I told her that my feelings were that if SF ever decided to raise a hand to her or to my son, I was afraid I would freeze like like I had that night. I told her my son would not go through life thinking that being told to commit suicide was normal.
We fought for three days, and four days after that, we texted her parents. She couldn't bring herself to do it, so I did, having her vett the message. I told them that I couldn't raise my son in an overcrowded home where everyone lives in fear of SF being in too much pain. I explained to them that Wife was so afraid of betraying them, but that she agreed it was a necessary thing to do, and that we were not cutting contact, but simply putting a bit of distance between both parties. Lastly, I explained in all honesty that what SF was doing was abusive, and even if he never hit anyone (MIL was telling us, even though she wasn't there, that he had only defended himself) he was still psychologically abusive.
The only reply I got was "I want to hear these words from my daughter." This was followed by a call to her phone.
They spoke for an hour or two, and my wife was reduced to tears many times. She apologized more times than I thought possible. Then MIL played her trump card : "What about my CC debt? You guys just ran to pay less rent now that your brother is cutting hours." (Steve had skipped rent many months without repercussion, so this was a non factor).
MIL texted me, after the call, telling me she was going to sell things to try to make payments on the card to "pay it off on time" and that I should do the same.
The thing was that she had transferred the debt incurred by our wedding onto an interest free credit card, and the grace period was still in full force. We had all sat down many times to do the math, and since we'd told them we would still be paying the same amount we had been, there were no changes to be had on this point.
So I aaked MIL what she meant by "on time", recalling the grace period. She told me "We'll be fine if I pay the minimum balance, which I can no longer do." So I asked her what the minimum was, and did not hear from her again on that subject.
My parents did, though. She texted both of them directly, demanding they pay the entire debt off immediately. My father, stating that was a can of worms he wouldn't open in order to respect Wife's wishes of not making things worse, didn't answer. My mother stated it was our debt, and she was confident we'd be able to pay it off on time. We didn't hear anything on the subject again.
That was what MIL did. SF? Yikes.
SF, as was his habit, texted message after message of abusive, insultive and nast texts to my wife, calling me a liar, her a traitor, saying I wanted to isolate her so I could cheat on her, etc. He followed this up with "make sure he reads it", which I did, very angrily, but corked it, because enough drama had happened.
We eventually were told to hand in our keys, which hurt Wife deeply as her younger brother still had his, and we organized days to collect our stuff. The last day, MIL requested we sit down and talk about what was said, and Wife begged me to apologize, as it would be the last time I would need to pretend I was okay with SF. I did so, believing her and swallowing my anger and discomfort as I explained to her parents that this was not the first time I'd seen such things, and I couldn't handle being there anymore. I was told I'd called SF an abuser, to which I apologized. This was a mistake, in hindsight, but I was still afraid.
Over the next months, contact was scarce with me, limited to "payment received". We paid the debt off no problem, as calculated, and mainly saw them at family holidays hosted at Wife's grandparents. My wife took our son to see them a few times, though was uncomfortable each time, as she no longer felt like she belonged.
Whenever we'd be in the same area, SF would take cheap shots at us, saying we spread rumors and lied, even though he was the one who told the story to the whole family first, even telling my sister about it. This again peeved me, but in a family get together, I didn't want to start drama.
Eventually he continued texting Wife all sorts of awful things, and one day she called me during a shift crying, upset about his consistent invectives. This happened 2 or 3 times before she asked me if I wanted to go to visit them (for what may have been the 3rd or 4th time since we moved out) and I got upset. I told her I wouldn't go until SF apologized, because he clearly hadn't learned, and I had no control over what she chose to do, but I made it clear I didn't think it wise that she went either, because they would never want to change if they never suffered consequences. They acted like children, and we'd have no choice but to treat them as such.
She understood, and a day or so later I received another call from her at work, where she told me SF had gotten upset about her demand of an apology, but she'd stood firm. She went to the visit they had scheduled, but that was the last of the ones scheduled at SF and MIL's home.
Contact all but died between them for a while, until they decided to drive to our home in the next town to visit. The conversation was described as awkard, as the people present (MIL, SF, Steve and Marcus) had all been refusing to go inside, except for Marcus. SF spent the visit making digs at Wife, asking her if she was pregnant again, telling her she wasn't eating well (a humorous point, as she basically was expected to starve herself before) and that no matter what she said, working out wouldn't help and its because my family was overfeeding her.
She stood up for herself, she explained to me, on everything but SF's comment of "Why would I apologize to a liar?". He had made this comment almost on arrival, and she didn't want to bite the bait.
They left within an hour, Steve and SF urging them to leave, and again, Wife was left quite upset. This was the last time they had seen her in person since, over the summer of COVID.
They had had almost no contact since then, but my wife was asking them over and over if they would be present at our son's birthday (early september). The initial answer was "No, we don't think you guys will enforce COVID regulations". This frustrated Wife, and she decided to cut contact until a phone call was made.
Less than 2 days later, MIL called Wife scrambling to organize a way they would come. The solution? They wouldn't come inside, with the 14 other guests. I got mad at this, as this meant they expected Wife to go between what was essentially two parties, with our son, and leave the vast majority of the guests without the birthday boy for x amount of time. She agreed this was silly and decided that she'd spend time proportionally to the amount of people in a single location.
I had said many times when planning this party that should SF try to start drama, he'd get a single warning and then be tossed out, and she begrudgingly agreed, but this turned out to be pointless.
We quickly realized thag MIL was planning on inviting Steve, who we had elected not to have over as we had learned through Brother#2 (the one who had moved out) that Steve's son had a tendency of hitting smaller children, and many of our guests were toddlers or under 1yo, not to mention #2's daughter. So I urged Wife to text him, as Steve probably wouldn't listen to me, but she told me to try. To my surprise, he responded with "Understood. Next time tell Wife to text me herself."
It wasn't long before MIL texted Wife, telling her she should have told her before, since they'd spent the day shopping for gifts and Steve Jr had picked one out. She told her "now I have to be the bad guy to my grandson". Wife explained she was afraid of the backlash, to which MIL said "is this backlash? This isn't meant to be."
They texted for an hour or so, MIL guilt-tripping Wife into changing her mind. It didn't work.
In the morning, SF texted Wife : "Don't you just love it when Family manipulates Family into not being Family anymore? Kinda like some stupid immature tv show people play games against each other. WTF".
I'd had enough, and I texted him, again asking Wife if we would follow through with our words and showing her the text "SF, this is your one and only warning: any more attempts to guilt-trip Wife to changing her mind and you can consider yourselves uninvited. This goes for nasty and insultive messages."
Hour or two later, MIL calls Wife to tell her "Your husband uninvited SF". We send her a screenshot of the warning and are told that it will be ignored. She then spends the next hour on the phone guilting Wife, and Wife eventually ended the call with "see you guys tomorrow."
I was furious. Wife and I fought, while she tried to tell me she wasn't being guilted, MIL just wanted to explain the texts the day before. I told her just from reaction I could tell she was guilted, and that just because I say "I'm not hitting you" doesn't mean you won't bruise from the punch.
She insisted, so I asked her to tell me how the call started. She got two sentences in before my mother, present at the time, inhaled sharply. I asked Wife "what was the point of bringing up Steve Jr again, if not to guilt you?"
She had no answer, but still wasn't convinced. I decided the best thing was to cool off, but as I left, I said "Next time you tell me to hit send and won't stick to your word, just don't."
I was infuriated. And at a loss. I couldn't and I wouldn't force her to pick a side, I had promised, but neutrality was quickly becoming picking to ignore my feelings about it, and while I was aware she wasn't realizing this, I had a hard time comminicating the emotions without being incredibly upset. So when I managed to explain it, to my mother, my wife heard and told me she would text MIL that they were, in fact, not welcome.
She had heard me say that by letting them come after drawing a clear line in the sand, which they crossed, we would be giving them the signal that our word meant nothing. And since she would be the only one in receiving contact, it made them believe that they could bully her into complying to their wishes. And reinforcing the belief that I was seperating her from them, which at this point I simply believe that she needs to live without their influence to realize how bad they truly are.
She's clearly made realizations in the time since we moved out, since she defends herself from their abuse, and after the birthday fiasco, they scheduled a video call. They were supposed to avoid "heavy" subjects, but with SF listening in it quickly fell to an hour of more nonsense.
Quick highlights from that as I wrap this up : SF claimed I called him a racist via text. MIL, who always says she refuses to read SF's phone because she knows how awful his texts can be and she doesn't want to know what he says to others, claims to have seen this text. I've searched my phone up and down and I can't find it, so it must be from another person with my name and number.
They had blocked both I and #2's fiancée on social media after the fiasco, and when confronted about it by both #2 and Wife, they claimed it was because of negativity on my end and not knowing how to work the medias on #2's. This was obviously unlikely, as they had already unfriended me prior. Oh and the "negativity" was support for BLM.
On the subject of being called a racist, Wife defended me and said that, in fact, SF had made her feel like she shouldn't have been born many times due to her race and background. MIL defended him im very weak ways, never denying the things he'd said, just that they weren't meant like that.
Steve Jr showed up on the video at one point, at which point SF told him "did you know your aunt didn't want you at her som's birthday because she's afraid you'll hit her baby?" No one I've talked to about this thinks this was warranted or even any sort of acceptable, including Wife.
There's more I can't recall, but to conclude, we've been dealing with this since the start, and are now reachimg our limits. I am, however, prouder and prouder of Wife for sranding up to her parents blatant lies and abuse more and more. I wasn't invited to the aformentioned video call, but boy I could hear her not letting them get away with stuff. As of today, the situation seems to be that Wife's parents will no longer text, as it can be "horribly misunderstood" and Wife has restated that until an apology regarding their attitude is said, they are no longer welcome in my presence.
I'm not sure how it'll go from here, but I am cautiously optimistic.
EDIT: I am told the adoption papers were never physically brought to SF. The idea was thrown around many times over the years but the general reaction was "don't bother".
submitted by PyrisManaburst to entitledparents [link] [comments]

2020.09.22 23:02 Mela05 The Witch is In. A Halloween Story of Spells, Potions, and Love.

By Karen B.
“Witches need love too”
Hello my tasty humans and happy Halloween. It looks as if I got back just in time. The decision has been made to shelve the “wealth and power” experimental potion first introduced 1 year ago to a few carefully selected humans. But the lovely citizens of earth aren’t ready for the seductive and addictive side effects that accompany this potion. There is a pandemic sweeping the globe, civil unrest, corrupt and evil politicians that want to take over the world and chaos causing devastating and irreversible consequences for all mankind if we were to allow the potion to work much longer. We will take another look and make appropriate changes in the formula, and hopefully reintroduce this potion again in the generations to come.
In the meantime, myself and a few of my sisters are making a special effort to help each and every person find once again the love in community and satisfaction of making a difference for the good of all. This is our pledge and our promise. Some have reached out and asked how are we going to help the more than 5 billion human souls living on this planet? And our answer is with proven methods successfully executed over thousands of civilizations and worlds much like this one. It’s called...
Magic my darlings, Magic!
And love but we’ll get to all that later.
A message to all who were in the wealth and power experimental program. We have arranged, at no expense to you, a 1 month retreat at the Betty Ford spa and experimental potion resort located on beautiful Lake Superior in Duluth Minnesota. There, you will be pampered and spoiled, enjoy 3 daily meals and snacks, learn meditation, relaxing yoga, daily deep tissue massage. You will have therapy sessions with world renown PhD Dr. Phil 3 times a week.
During your stay in Duluth weekly tours are scheduled to take in the sights and sounds of this beautiful historic city. Among the scheduled tours is a day at the Duluth shipping canal and park. This is a must see to watch the big lake ships arrive on their way to their destination in the harbor. Toot toot! Recommended by Dr. Phil.
This year I am bringing back my most requested spells and potions. For the full price list of all my spells potions and charms visit my webpage [email protected]. Also new this year is my you tube channel. Type in the search bar the witch is in and you will be directed. Don’t forget to subscribe and hit the like button. The first 100 subscribers will get a discount on any regular priced spells or potions at my online price list. Sale or reduced items are not eligible for the discount. After the holiday check out my Facebook page. I post bi weekly with news and pictures from me throughout the year. And feel free to leave a post telling me how life is for you. I look forward to hearing from you....
Now let’s get started....
The Witch Is In presents “ New for 2020 my price list for my hottest selling spells and potions”.
Back again by popular demand!! The number 1 requested spell
Prince Charming. Yes ladies he’s back in all his glorious glory improved and better than ever. My Prince is 6’3” 200 pounds ( all muscle no fat) * new this year he comes with a 5 year warrantee against sudden weight gain and muscle loss. For more details visit my web page. Other features of this magnificent specimen are big brown eyes, a full head of dark brown hair, and a smile that will have you melting like the wicked witch of the west.
As a bonus you will get the Princes majestic white steed with saddle and bridal made from hand tooled leather and fine silver in Spain. And a set for you too, if that’s what you’re into, ahem. *see disclaimer on web site. The basic Prince Charming package is $4000.00 US dollars due at time of order. No exceptions, No returns, Don’t even think about it.
The Prince Charming Upgrade!!!
Ladies life is all about choices and I have heard you loud and clear. I am proud to announce a list of “must haves” designed perfectly to go along with your Prince.
The Kingdom Upgrade!! (Because every Prince needs a kingdom to rule)
The Castle and Stable. The castle: Upgraded to include modern indoor plumbing in all 12 bathrooms. Up to code electrical, new forced air gas furnace large enough to heat the entire castle comfortably. 3 AC units to keep you cool in summer and other times. Completely insulated throughout. I know, right? There’s more. A state of the art stable for the Princes white steed, a gold tone carriage and 6 more stallions to pull the carriage. The carriage is Equipped with top of the line shock absorbing technology, a gps satellite system, back up camera, and Bluetooth enabled that will hook into your smart phone from anywhere in the stable or castle. That’s not all you also get a stable manager and trainer to keep the stable clean and in good working condition.
For the Castle: Well I can’t expect you to run and manage a 100,000 square foot castle by yourself and why should you have too? You will get 10 cleaning maids 5 butlers 6 maids in waiting, 3 chefs, and Tina Fey as the court jester. She’s really funny y’all. Numerous serfs and their large family’s to work the land and bring in the harvest. You and your Prince can live the life of luxury 6 months out of the year in the Caribbean sipping pina coladas and soaking up the sun by the magnificent pool!
The Kingdom upgrade is only $6000.00 dollars US.
But wait!! Order the Prince and the Kingdom upgrade together before the next full moon and I will knock off 1500.00 dollars on the entire order reducing the final sale to $8500.00. What?! Now that’s something to howl about.
My Number 2 most popular and requested spell.
The Princess: Update: Say hello to Gwen our beautiful new princess that will pave the way for all the other princesses for generations to come. Our research told us that she is highly recommended from a respectable dating sight. and People and Good Housekeeping Magazines give her 2 thumbs up each. Gwen has passed her physical and her "test of virginity".
Testing virtue used to mean using archaic methods that included sacrifices, volcanos, angry natives, and the toss of a terrified candidate. In the end a crispy Virgin never helped anyone. We needed a live candidate. So we went back to the drawing board and found a potion that was a 100% effective, and safe. It took time to get the natives on board. But after a friendly conversation with the tribal chief explaining the consequences of non compliance the chief and tribe agreed 100% to ban the use of volcanos for sacrifices ending a proud tradition forever. Life is about change and staying alive, right?
Guy's, the Princess is 5' 7" tall, weighs in at 120 pounds, she is 36 24 34. She has long blond hair not from a bottle(her hair color is guaranteed for 30 years not to change, fade, or darken.) Blue eyes a perfect peaches and cream complexion, and a smile that's guaranteed to make you fall instantly in love until the next morning. The Princess includes a generous dowry a 24k gold tiara and her parents the king and queen. Occasionally the parents of the princess become somewhat demanding after moving into the castle by changing the chefs menu, writing all new material for the court jester for example, and causing unwanted turmoil within your castle. This makes for an unhappy and angry staff. Before that happens and the staff starts to walk away threatening you with law suits and organizing a lynch mob text or email me. For a small fee I can make the parents disappear without the cops snooping around and asking a lot of stupid questions. The price for the princess? only $9000.00 dollars US. firm. Total payment due at time of order. No exceptions. No refunds.
“Love is in the air” with my #1 most requested potion
Love Potion #9.
You’ve demanded it, we slaved over a hot cauldron for months, and now we are bringing it to you direct. Hands down the best love potion on the market today. * see our test results in March 2020 consumer report. My love potion will make any person you are....obsessed with, stalking, losing sleep over, kidnapping or thoughts thereof, texting, tweeting, instagramming, you get the idea, become completely and utterly in love with you like they were in a catatonic state. If love is what you seek, I have the cure.
*Disclaimer. Read and be informed before you buy. Each sale of Love Potion #9 contains a strict warning. Be careful what you wish for. Love Potion #9 is guaranteed for the life of the recipient. There is no antidote, and no refunds. Only $100.00 US dollars per dose.
My second most requested potion.....
  1. THE YOUTH POTION. Tired of being old and in the way? My youth potion guarantees all the physical attributes you enjoyed in your 20’s and 30’s. Included in the purchase of each bottle of the youth potion is all your hair and teeth back in their original condition as God intended. Strength, coordination, and walking without the use of chairs, canes, or help from Nurse Rachet at “the home.” In fact you will enjoy once again the freedom and independence to live life la vida loco!!!
The Youth Potion does have a shelf life of 1 year so buy several bottles and never be interrupted by old age again. * Youth Potion does require a consultation by me and a mandatory class titled “ How to enter back in the workforce, pay your federal taxes on time for another 40 years, and like it.” So make an appointment today for the current price.
As you are aware the Wealth and Power Potion has been scrapped for now. However I have a brand new and safe alternative potion introduced in June 2020 at the National Convention of Modern Witches Warlocks and Wizardry in Salem Mass. (M.W.W.S.M.)
This potion has been tested and proven safe for human consumption.
The Bug Out, and Quick Escape For Any Situation Potion.
Here’s a few examples of how you could use this useful and effective potion. A marriage gone south. It happens from time to time. Don’t ever admit blame just one dose of this potion and poof! You get the house car custody of the kids a handsome alimony award, all without watching your x spouse have a melt down in court. Saving yourself much time and stress and all without the expense of a corrupt divorce lawyer.
Another example, a conspiracy theory suddenly is fact. You only have minutes to get you and your dog to safety. The last spaceship to Mars is full and already high tailed it off this planet. Now what do you do? Good question. Suddenly you remember the Quick Escape Potion you purchased from the Witch Is In on last years list of spells and potions. You locate it and quickly ingest it. You feel lightheaded and fall back on your bed. The room begins to turn it’s like your in the funnel of a tornado, going down further into a kind of a semi conscious state of reality. Spinning and spinning. All goes black. The next thing you know you wake up to a world full of little people and a yellow brick road. WTF? Yes Dorothy you and your little dog have been saved by a tornado and are starting a new life here well you can name it anything you want. You are safe right? Just think of the possibility’s! Starting life over again is never easy by any stretch of your imagination. If you see two moons in the sky not one so what you will get used to it. Everything you need is here. All you have to do is click your heels three times and chant “I hope there’s a home improvement store on this hell hole.” But all in all you know it’s not so bad and you will have family again. And new memory’s to cherish. And ah people who love you. Yes they dress a little weird here but you can get used to that as well. In time. So go make a new life and embrace it. Have you met Glenda? You will love her and she’s here to help.....
Just kidding. The Earth will not implode any time soon. But isn’t it comforting to know you have the option to change in an instant in any situation? The Witch Is In wants you and every inhabitant on Earth to know we are here for you and we will protect you. You can’t put a value on what is priceless. Love for each other, community and trust. That’s what is important above all else.
Well my tasty humans that’s it for the 2020 pricelist of new and updated spells and potions. It’s almost Halloween and soon I will disappear until harvest moon next year. Get your last minute orders in now. Operators are standing by. Call now and as always love you bunches !!!
Have a safe and happy Halloween!!!
submitted by Mela05 to SlumberReads [link] [comments]

2020.09.22 20:59 MacItaly Community lead MSF Known Bug Spreadsheet - Let's get Organized!!

I know I'm not alone when I say that I'm sick of seeing people post about known bugs over and over and over again in multiple daily posts. So, in an effort to get organized AND to put all of the information into one place I've created...
MSF Known Bugs Spreadsheet
The idea is to come together as a community and use a single Known Bug log to keep track of all of the things we find. Let's just all come to terms with the fact that WE are Scopely's QA team. Yes, we wish they did more testing and we had less bugs, but we're not organized about it. We just bitch all over social media, and say things like, "fix your game."
So let's come together and focus on logging all of the issues/bugs we find so the Devs have a one-stop-shop for their references.
The spreadsheet organizes bugs by:
Character, Priority, Issue, Date found, Date Resolved, Credit to bug reporter, Additional info, etc.
If you would like to help and be involved I would LOVE your assistance. You can help in a couple of ways.
(1) You can email 'msf.known.bugs @' with the necessary information so it can get added to the spreadsheet.
(2) Visit the spreadsheet and leave a comment with the necessary information so it can get added to the spreadsheet.
I also need people to verify that the known bugs/issues are, in fact, bugs and issues. If you can verify that the bug exists, I would also like to hear from you. This will help to prevent erroneous bugs being added for whatever reason.
Because the list was just started I only have the most recent Doc Oct and Crossbones bugs. Please help me with the Mysterio, Blackbolt, and any others you know of.
Let's come together, get organized, and do what we can to try and ensure that MSF is the best it can be.
Thanks in advance for your participation, support, and help.
submitted by MacItaly to MarvelStrikeForce [link] [comments]

2020.09.22 20:05 sudoku457544 Did I unleash his inner neckbeard ?

Short time lurker, first time poster. You Tube videos from TimTamTom and the like made me realise I had my very own prolonged neckbeard encounter.
The protagonist are:
13/14 year old me: socially awkward, a big history nerd, as naiv as it gets and hella insecure.
Archerybeard: AB (16years) has a huge record of being rejected by girls, for some reason into dragons
The story starts when me and my sister got into archery. We discovered a local club and just showed up at the next session. It was really fun and I discovered I was quite talented. My sister got frustrated because she progressed much slower and gave it up pretty quickly. As a result I was left all on my own, so I tried talking to the 3 other younger people, including AB. After a bit of small talk with AB I discovered we went to the same school and had mutual interest such as roman and Greek mythology. His hygiene hadn’t deteriorated yet, so he didn’t had a beard, wasn’t smelly and looked decent. We saw each other quite often during the archery session, three times a week, and became friends. We even hung out at the train station after school a few times. However it wasn’t until the annual tournament at our club that things started to escalate. He complained about being rejected by a girl again and I being an immature dumbass replied jokingly if he beat me he could go on a date with me. He was surprisingly eager to take me at my word and I accepted it because I was 13 and thought it was funny. He probably thought he could easily beat me but he was wrong. Although I only picked the hobby up 2 months ago and he was doing it for over a year at this point, I was able to win with a substantial difference. Afterwards he seemed seriously crushed. I felt on top of the world, cause I’d won even to my own surprise but I couldn’t fully enjoy it because of his bad mood. I knew he had serious psychological problems, so I wanted to lift him up. I told him we could still go on a date though he’d lost. I mean it’s just a date what could possibly go wrong? Maybe i would be into him?
Fast forward to the date. It was quite unremarkable. A pleasant time but nothing out of the ordinary. Unfortunately after the date, he confessed his love to me. I was completely overwhelmed and couldn’t say anything for the next few minutes. I told him I needed time to think about it, which was true because I wanted to figure out wether I liked him as a friend or in a romantic way. He kept bugging about it all the time. It was seriously annoying and made me uncomfortable. I told him I would give him my answer on his birthday which was in a week. To make matters short I told him NO. He was upset and I acknowledged that it was a shitty move tell him on his birthday. What can I say I was young and dumb and I really regret it. Things could have stopped here. They didn’t..... He kept asking me all the time why we couldn’t be together and what about him put me off. I felt pressured and anxious and told him time after time that it wasn’t his fault and that I just wasn’t in love with him.
He started pressuring me physically and verbally. We would wrestle around a bit sometimes but now he overpowered me and held my wrists together wich freaked me out. I tried to scramble away with no effect so I scratched him. Later he would complain to my father about the scratches. They were both lowkey misogynistic so that was a match made in heaven. 🙄
His hygiene started to deteriorate. He grew a neckbeard. His behaviour became CREEPY Here a few highlights: He told me he cut “ (inset my name )hate u” into his arm. He repeatedly made jokes about how he would have sex with me. Mind you I just turned 14. I told him to stop. He didn’t. He kept blaming me for why we couldn’t be together and therefor his bad mental health for months. And I couldn’t get rid of him though I was deeply uncomfortable by almost everything he did in the end, because we had the same school way. Thanks to him I quoted archery, although I even participated in a national competition after roughly 6 months of training.
This story deeply messed me up because I blamed myself for a long time, whilst still living in fear he might eventually snap and hurt me. No I wouldn’t put it past him. Getting it of my chest was very freeing.
submitted by sudoku457544 to neckbeardstories [link] [comments]

2020.09.22 16:56 Xxstrangest_thingxX Half of the bee movie script. I cant post the whole thing.

Bee Movie Script
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it! - I wonder where they were. - I don't know. Their day's not planned. Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. Right. Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? Distant. Distant. Look at these two. - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them. It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out. What were you doing during this? Trying to alert the authorities. I can autograph that. A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? Yeah. Gusty. We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. - Six miles, huh? - Barry! A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. - Maybe I am. - You are not! We're going 0900 at J-Gate. What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. Hey, Honex! Dad, you surprised me. You decide what you're interested in? - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? Son, let me tell you about stirring. You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. You know, Dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny. You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me! Wait till you see the sticks I have. I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! Let's open some honey and celebrate! Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! I'm so proud. - We're starting work today! - Today's the day. Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone. Yeah, right. Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left! One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side. - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar! Wow! Oouple of newbies? Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! Make your choice. - You want to go first? - No, you go. Oh, my. What's available? Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on. I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. Wax monkey's always open. The Krelman opened up again. What happened? A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life! Oh, this is so hard! Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? Barry! All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... What happened to you? Where are you? - I'm going out. - Out? Out where? - Out there. - Oh, no! I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello? Another call coming in. If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. Hey, guys. - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. Really? Feeling lucky, are you? Sign here, here. Just initial that. - Thank you. - OK. You got a rain advisory today, and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! All right, launch positions! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Black and yellow! Hello! You ready for this, hot shot? Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Wind, check. - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. Scared out of my shorts, check. OK, ladies, let's move it out! Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! Wow! I'm out! I can't believe I'm out! So blue. I feel so fast and free! Box kite! Wow! Flowers! This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. Roses! 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. That is one nectar collector! - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir. I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. That's amazing. Why do we do that? That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. Oool. I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those? Oopy that visual. Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? Affirmative. That was on the line! This is the coolest. What is it? I don't know, but I'm loving this color. It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. Yeah, fuzzy. Ohemical-y. Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby. My sweet lord of bees! Oandy-brain, get off there! Problem! - Guys! - This could be bad. Affirmative. Very close. Gonna hurt. Mama's little boy. You are way out of position, rookie! Ooming in at you like a missile! Help me! I don't think these are flowers. - Should we tell him? - I think he knows. What is this?! Match point! You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it! Yowser! Gross. There's a bee in the car! - Do something! - I'm driving! - Hi, bee. - He's back here! He's going to sting me! Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! He blinked! Spray him, Granny! What are you doing?! Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. I gotta get home. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Oan't fly in rain. Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! Ken, could you close the window please? Ken, could you close the window please? Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. You see? Folds out. Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. What was that? Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... Drapes! That is diabolical. It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. What's number one? Star Wars? Nah, I don't go for that... ...kind of stuff. No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. I predicted global warming. I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. Wait! Stop! Bee! Stand back. These are winter boots. Wait! Don't kill him! You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! Why does his life have less value than yours? Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. My brochure! There you go, little guy. I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. Put that on your resume brochure. My whole face could puff up. Make it one of your special skills. Knocking someone out is also a special skill. Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye. - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye. I gotta say something. She saved my life. I gotta say something. All right, here it goes. Nah. What would I say? I could really get in trouble. It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. I can't believe I'm doing this. I've got to. Oh, I can't do it. Oome on! No. Yes. No. Do it. I can't. How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. Here she comes! Speak, you fool! Hi! I'm sorry. - You're talking. - Yes, I know. You're talking! I'm so sorry. No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. But I don't recall going to bed. Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee! I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, but they were all trying to kill me. And if it wasn't for you... I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. That was a little weird. - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah. I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What? The talking thing. Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. - That's very funny. - Yeah. Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. Anyway... Oan I... ...get you something? - Like what? I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee? I don't want to put you out. It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose. - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup. Hey, you want rum cake? - I shouldn't. - Have some. - No, I can't. - Oome on! I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. - Where? - These stripes don't help. You look great! I don't know if you know anything about fashion. Are you all right? No. He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. He finally gets there. He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. Why would I marry a watermelon?" Is that a bee joke? That's the kind of stuff we do. Yeah, different. So, what are you gonna do, Barry? About work? I don't know. I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. I know how you feel. - You do? - Sure. My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. - Really? - My only interest is flowers. Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. Anyway, if you look... There's my hive right there. See it? You're in Sheep Meadow! Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not? - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that. - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine. Just having two cups of coffee! Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. Yeah, it's no trouble. Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. Are you...? Oan I take a piece of this with me? Sure! Here, have a crumb. - Thanks! - Yeah. All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around. Or not. OK, Barry. And thank you so much again... for before. Oh, that? That was nothing. Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... This can't possibly work. He's all set to go. We may as well try it. OK, Dave, pull the chute. - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing! It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life. Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! Giant, scary humans! What were they like? Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't. - How'd you get back? - Poodle. You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal. - Well... - Well? Well, I met someone. You did? Was she Bee-ish? - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp. - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders. I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. I can't get by that face. So who is she? She's... human. No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy. She's so nice. And she's a florist! Oh, no! You're dating a human florist! We're not dating. You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite! She saved my life! And she understands me. This is over! Eat this. This is not over! What was that? - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey! And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No. It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up... Sit down! ...really hot! - Listen to me! We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! There he is. He's in the pool. You know what your problem is, Barry? I gotta start thinking bee? How much longer will this go on? It's been three days! Why aren't you working? I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! Would it kill you to make a little honey? Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. Martin, would you talk to him? Barry, I'm talking to you! You coming? Got everything? All set! Go ahead. I'll catch up. Don't be too long. Watch this! Vanessa! - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him. He doesn't respond to yelling! - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen! I'm not listening to this. Sorry, I've gotta go. - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend. A girl? Is this why you can't decide? Bye. I just hope she's Bee-ish. They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream! Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! You don't have that? We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. Oh, my. Dumb bees! You must want to sting all those jerks. We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us. So you have to watch your temper. Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: Anger, jealousy, lust. Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? Yeah. - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug. He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? Yeah, it was. How did you know? It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. You've really got that down to a science. - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet. What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom, Ray Liotta Private Select? - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him. - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it. You don't have enough food of your own? - Well, yes. - How do you get it? - Bees make it. - I know who makes it! And it's hard to make it! There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! - It's organic. - It's our-ganic! It's just honey, Barry. Just what?! Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! Hey, Hector. - You almost done? - Almost. He is here. I sense it. Well, I guess I'll go home now and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. You're busted, box boy! I knew I heard something. So you can talk! I can talk. And now you'll start talking! Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier? I don't understand. I thought we were friends. The last thing we want to do is upset bees! You're too late! It's ours now! You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! Where is the honey coming from? Tell me where! Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! Orazy person! What horrible thing has happened here? These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now they're on the road to nowhere! Just keep still. What? You're not dead? Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! I'm going to Tacoma. - And you? - He really is dead. All right. Uh-oh! - What is that?! - Oh, no! - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade? Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! How much do you people need to see?! Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell. But don't kill no more bugs! - Bee! - Moose blood guy!! - You hear something? - Like what? Like tiny screaming. Turn off the radio. Whassup, bee boy? Hey, Blood. Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. Wow! I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. I mean, that honey's ours. - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in. It's a close community. Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble. Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. You got to be kidding me! Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood! I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. What is this place? A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. They are pinheads! Pinhead. - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. The Thomas 3000! Smoker? Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. A couple breaths of this knocks them right out. They make the honey, and we make the money. "They make the honey, and we make the money"? Oh, my! What's going on? Are you OK? Yeah. It doesn't last too long. Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! That's a drag queen! What is this? Oh, no! There's hundreds of them! Bee honey. Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. Oh, Barry, stop. Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. Do these look like rumors? That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. How did you get mixed up in this? He's been talking to humans. - What? - Talking to humans?! He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! Make out? Barry! We do not. - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on? The bees! I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. I remember that. What right do they have to our honey? We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever! Even if it's true, what can one bee do? Sting them where it really hurts. In the face! The eye! - That would hurt. - No. Up the nose? That's a killer. There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. No more bee beards! With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. Weather with Storm Stinger. Sports with Buzz Larvi. And Jeanette Ohung. - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung. A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, packaging it and profiting from it illegally! Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? Bees have never been afraid to change the world. What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans. We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. How old are you? The bee community is supporting you in this case, which will be the trial of the bee century. You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. It's a common name. Next week... He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... Next week... Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live. Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is! I'm helping him sue the human race. - Hello. - Hello, bee. This is Ken. Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. Why does he talk again? Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. But it's our yogurt night! Bye-bye. Why is yogurt night so difficult?! You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. - Frosting... - How many sugars? Just one. I try not to use the competition. So why are you helping me? Bees have good qualities. And it takes my mind off the shop. Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. Those are great, if you're three. And artificial flowers. - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too. Bent stingers, pointless pollination. Bees must hate those fake things! Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess. You sure you want to go through with it? Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. What have we gotten into here, Barry? It's pretty big, isn't it? I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill. Well, if it isn't the bee team. You boys work on this? All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. All right. Oase number 4475, Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry is now in session. Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? A privilege. Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my grandmother was a simple woman. Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, just think of what would it mean. I would have to negotiate with the silkworm for the elastic in my britches! Talking bee! How do we know this isn't some sort of holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? They could be using laser beams! Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know, he could be on steroids! Mr. Benson? Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. It's important to all bees. We invented it! We make it. And we protect it with our lives. Unfortunately, there are some people in this room who think they can take it from us 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have but everything we are! I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! Oall your first witness. So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have. I suppose so. I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? - No. - I couldn't hear you. - No. - No. Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. They're very lovable creatures. Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. You mean like this? Bears kill bees! How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! OK, that's enough. Take him away. So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police. But you've never been a police officer, have you? No, I haven't. No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example of bee culture casually stolen by a human for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. Oh, please. Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! That's not his real name?! You idiots! Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. Thank you. Thank you. I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow. I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it! Order! Order, I say! - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down! I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. I think the jury's on our side. Are we doing everything right, legally? I'm a florist. Right. Well, here's to a great team. To a great team! Well, hello. - Ken! - Hello. I didn't think you were coming. No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery. I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. Oh, that was lucky. There's a little left. I could heat it up. Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. So I hear you're quite a tennis player. I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. That's where I usually sit. Right... there. Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. You think I don't see what you're doing? I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common. Do we? Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. That's just what I was thinking about doing. Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. I'm going to drain the old stinger. Yeah, you do that. Look at that. You know, I've just about had it with your little mind games. - What's that? - Italian Vogue. Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. A lot of ads. Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? Funny, I just can't seem to recall that! I think something stinks in here! I love the smell of flowers. How do you like the smell of flames?! Not as much. Water bug! Not taking sides! Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic! I've got issues! Well, well, well, a royal flush! - You're bluffing. - Am I? Surf's up, dude! Poo water! That bowl is gnarly. Except for those dirty yellow rings! Kenneth! What are you doing?! You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! We need to talk! He's just a little bee! And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! Goodbye, Ken. And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man! I'm sorry about all that. I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it! I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. Are you OK for the trial? I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... Yeah. Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic? Only to losing, son. Only to losing. Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. What exactly is your relationship to that woman? We're friends. - Good friends? - Yes. How good? Do you live together? Wait a minute... Are you her little... ...bedbug? I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand, doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents! - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are! Hold me back! You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? He's denouncing bees! Don't y'all date your cousins? - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy! Adam, don't! It's what he wants! Oh, I'm hit!! Oh, lordy, I am hit! Order! Order! The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs. What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks? I will have order in this court. Order! Order, please! The case of the honeybees versus the human race took a pointed turn against the bees yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. - Hey, buddy. - Hey. - Is there much pain? - Yeah. I... I blew the whole case, didn't I? It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. I'd be better off dead. Look at me. They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich. Look, there's a little celery still on it. What was it like to sting someone? I can't explain it. It was all... All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! All right. You think it was all a trap? Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. What will the humans do to us if they win? I don't know. I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. Adam, they check in, but they don't check out! Oh, my. Oould you get a nurse to close that window? - Why? - The smoke. Bees don't smoke. Right. Bees don't smoke. Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. That's it! That's our case! It is? It's not over? Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub. Mr. Flayman. Yes? Yes, Your Honor! Where is the rest of your team? Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, and as a result, we don't make very good time. I actually heard a funny story about... Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs taken up enough of this court's valuable time? How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case! Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. But you can't! We have a terrific case. Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? Show me the smoking gun! Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? Here is your smoking gun. What is that? It's a bee smoker! What, this? This harmless little contraption? This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. Look at what has happened to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" Is this what nature intended for us? To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines and man-made wooden slat work camps? Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! Free the bees! The court finds in favor of the bees! Vanessa, we won! I knew you could do it! High-five! Sorry. I'm OK! You know what this means? All the honey will finally belong to the bees. Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. You'll regret this. Barry, how much honey is out there? All right. One at a time. Barry, who are you wearing? My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants. - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean? We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, every last drop. We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. We're all aware of what they do in the woods. Wait for my signal. Take him out. He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine. And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... But it's just a prance-about stage name! ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. Oan't breathe. Bring it in, boys! Hold it right there! Good. Tap it. Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down. Shut down honey production! Stop making honey!
submitted by Xxstrangest_thingxX to copypasta [link] [comments]

2020.09.22 16:15 WWE_Network_Bot WWE Network Updates: 09/22/2020

The following shows have been added to the WWE Network today:

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See what new shows are coming up on the schedule
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2020.09.22 15:56 serigraphtea Super Five (PENTAGON Hui, ASTRO MJ, A.CIAN Hyukjin, Ok Jinwook, Park Hyungseok) - Hello Goodbye Concert (Album Discussion)

Super Five (PENTAGON Hui, ASTRO MJ, A.CIAN Hyukjin, Ok Jinwook, Park Hyungseok) - Hello Goodbye Concert (Album Discussion)
Release Date: 2020.09.22 Genre: Trot Music / Project Group
If you somehow aren't familiar with them, this group was formed through the MBC Entertainment Variety show Favorite Entertainment (well worth a watch; it's quite fun). They've released two singles previously: All Eyes On Me and Hello. Hello Goodbye Concert consists of one solo song for each of the members, written by top trot producers. This is supposedly the end of this project group.
album cover
Stream on: Youtube Music / Genie / Bugs / Melon

Title Performed By Composed By Lyrics By Arranged BY
01. Dear Love Chu Hyukjin (A.CIAN) Gong Jeongsik Gong Jeongsik Lim Hyunki
02. Step By Step Lee Hoetaek (PENTAGON) Jeong Jaehyung Jeong Jaehyung Lim Hyunki
03. Tearful Rain Kim Myungjun (ASTRO) A.Coma A.Coma Lim Hyunki
04. Miss You Park Hyungseok Shim Hyunseop Shim Hyunseop Lim Hyunki
05. Sorrow Ok Jinwook (Mr. Trot) Kim Euiseop Kim Euiseop Lim Hyunki

submitted by serigraphtea to kpop [link] [comments]

2020.09.22 14:01 tkc616 Marriage and porn?

Hi all...just starting out that I love my hubby. We've been together for over 10 years and married for 7 and have 2 small children. He is a great guy, excellent dad and all that. Our intimate life is ok as good as it can get with 2 small kids and us working opposite shifts. We do try to "do it" at least twice per month. I know doesn't seem like a lot ..and maybe it isn't enough but he is not very affectionate to me and sometimes initiates but not often. We do try to do a date night and such once every other month. The other day I saw he screen casted porn hub on our TV downstairs after I went to bed. Now I don't think it would bother me if I wasnt there, but we had just been watching tv together. I asked him about it and he said he didn't watch very well could have been from the night before but who knows. Am I freaking out over nothing?? Let me know and I will let it go which I have but it just bugs me he would rather do that than be with me 🙄
submitted by tkc616 to Marriage [link] [comments]

2020.09.22 10:25 30pewpew Restructuring + Suggestions

Posting this here as I believe I share the same sentiments as that of the community with regards to restructuring YFBeta and also raising certain key points.
First of, I believe that our priority should be restructuring governance and in doing so we will be able to push out proposals FOR the community, BY the community.
Now don't get me wrong. I am excited hearing about the addition of staking especially with NFTs, new vaults concerning $UNI, perhaps another vault that rewards in stablecoin, and many other tweaks and things being discussed under the hood.
However I don't think that should be our main focus at least right now. It's establishing the core functionalities of governance, having multi sig implemented, and setting up a Discourse forum that we need first and foremost and that is imperative, if not the bare minimum at least in my eyes.
Bare Minimums:
  1. Multi Sig - Establishes confidence and security for everyone, stakers and holders alike.
  2. Discourse Forums - Provides a proper avenue for users to discuss, voice opinions, etc.Telegram & Discord just aren't the proper places because it's prone to flooding. It's more for user interaction than user discussion.
  3. Fixing APYs, UI / UX bugs - Pretty straightforward, we want users to have an easy time using the interface, a smooth enjoyable experience.
  4. Socials - Have a "dedicated marketing team" whose sole job is to manage the marketing of YFBeta (Twitter, Medium, Telegram, Discord, etc), craft content for YFBeta (memes, gifs, articles, etc) which will allow us to have a wider reach, boost awareness, which in turn brings more farmers, increasing TVL, and so on ...
  5. Roadmap - A roadmap of sorts, it doesn't have to be as detailed (with exact dates) it could just be a list of key features that have been implemented and will be implemented in the future (without an ETA for the moment and as the dev team grows). This helps educate newcomers to YFBeta and ofc it also gives security and confidence to everyone.
Afterwards it's any goes ...
  1. New Vaults
  2. NFT Staking
  3. + many more
Now these are my opinions and I may or may not share the same as everyone, but I do believe that many individuals do care about YFBeta and it's continuous development. So if you have any ideas don't be afraid to suggest!
I'd love to hear other BetaBros thoughts on this, as we are after all a community.
submitted by 30pewpew to yfbeta [link] [comments]

2020.09.22 10:18 Lughs_Revenge [Suggestion] Path of Exile - PBE/CBE (Public Beta Environment / Closed Beta Environment)

In light of recent and past unlucky incidents regarding new league mechanics I'd like to propose a way to find bugs and problems.
I understand why GGG likes to introduce new leagues the way they do. They offer some mysterious and foreboding informations before the start, to make the community hyped and awe-struck awaiting for a new adventure.
Seeing the posts every league going up in technical issues or league mechanics being a buzz killer when it eventually turns up vile and ruining the experience, I was pretty much in thoughts of "How does GGG test the game?".
I haven't found anything official yet (Please do hit me up with a link if you have something), but it seems from non-source-provided people in the community that GGG themselves test and that there is some kind of test server, but outside GGG only certain individuals like Streamers are invited.

Just a couple to name.
Every league feels literally like a beta, and I don't know how the devs at GGG feel like, but I assume they can't be happy with this outcome. When I saw the announcement in august that there is no official date release for Heist, and they said that they knew that people liked to book holiday at their companies to be prepared, I was thinking "Dunno, is it worth it to book some holidays for the start? I'd rather book 2 weeks after release...". And that's a fundamental problem I think. Yes I love new leagues, even if it's rippy - it's an adventure! It's fun af. But getting leagues after leagues which don't feel like new additions but test servers for standard league, I come to think that we might as well try a different approach and try to make it better for everyone. I mean, is this how it's supposed to be for the rest of PoE's life? Releasing new content that has been not tested thoroughly to thousands of players, sold as a expansion but actually as a Early Access/Beta in disguise? Am I crazy for wishing that we can get better at having a good game?
Better said: What other options do we have to make this better? I've heard people suggest that GGG should release every 4 months, going from 4 to 3 leagues a year. While it's true that this is possible and might be a solution - but I also feel like, knowing GGG that they feel that way probably too, that 4 months of an actual league might be too long and the player retention goes even worse than it is. One more month of development is great, but it also means one more month of a league where players feel like they are exhausted or are not interested anymore. Granted, that's a good thing for players to take breaks and replenish their lust for PoE when a new league comes.It's just bad for the company itself when they lose players and thus profit.
I understand that GGG doesn't want any information out there to be leaked before an expansion - even though I'm not sure if hyping up and then letting down is any better. There are companies who reveal their road map or next 1-2 objectives in their road map to target next, and they do just fine.
I also understand that a public beta environment is impossible due to the fact that people will get a head-start and might even find exploits which might be not disclosed to GGG and used when it officially hits the public.
But I don't understand why GGG can't for example pick 50 active players who sign a NDA, given some MTX points for their work plus some points for additional bug reports or when they can reproduce bugs other testers have filed in. 50 players out of what? 100.000 at peak?It shouldn't pose a threat in theory, and leagues can have drops removed like the replicas in Heist for example, because that's not necessarily a thing to test (a drop is a drop, and I assume they test that themselves rather). But league specific mechanics, changed mechanics and overall gameplay feeling including new skills could be tested that way, and most heavy bugs getting tackled on before it hits public and ruins potentially more players experience.

My other suggestion apart from a dedicated testing group from the community would be for GGG to take a break for half a year or let's say their next league should be open for 6 months. In that time they would come up with 2 leagues. One league finished and ready to be played after 6 months, and the second league being half-finished, but then they have 3 months to finish that league and do another one half-finished.Pretty much like this -> 6 months development for one finished and a half finished league -> release finished league -> 1-2 months development for finishing half finished league, creating another half finished league for 1-2 -> release finished league -> 1-2 months development for finishing half finished league, creating another half finished league for 1-2 -> and so on

What do you guys think? I'm sorry if I was too long. I hope you can imagine a juicy potato in your minds as an apology.
submitted by Lughs_Revenge to pathofexile [link] [comments]

2020.09.22 08:26 Gloomy_Yogurtcloset A Complex Situation

So around my prom, I was dating this guy. and we met up once and it led to sex. and then he came to mine the morning before my prom, and my mum went out and left me to babysit my silbings while I was hanging out with him. And in my room he wanted to fuck again, but I wasn't in the mood. Anyhow after me saying no, I just gave up because he was badgering so I said fine. We started kissing and he lays onto of me. Then I change my mind after his pants are pulled down. I told him stop it and I said no because I didn't want to anymore. And he ignored me, so I tried to push him by his shoulders. He still ignored me and just carried on. So I gave up and went silent. Afterwards he got off and sat on my bed, faced the wall and said sorry. I just was laid there and idk let it be because I had prom with my friends.
I ignored the entire thing until the morning after prom when I went home from my friends house. And after thinking about it and how uneasy it made me feel. I got into an argument with my friends and then me and him broke up. and then I was left alone to like come to understand it all. And it started to really bug me.
I just ignored it until I was helping my uncle, who was friends with him, and they were talking on Snapchat and my ex was with another girl. And it hit me that he got to be okay and I was having to accept what had happened. So I ran out and went crying into my aunt's house door. They(my aunt, nanna and mother) all thought I was having a breakdown over the break up but I didn't even care. It wasn't love, it was just a boy who I liked. I was crying over what had happened.
So I told my best friend and she still just ignores the subject. I tried to confront him and he just ignored my messages. and then I find out he's done something similar to another girl through my other ex boyfriend. and it fucking sucked because he was just moving on and leaving broken girls behind.
It's been like 3 years and I'm still hurt. It took me 2 years to even be physical with another guy. And I've not had sex in three years and whenever I tell people about abstaining from sex, I feel like a freak. but I'm just scared of it. I remember how it felt when he was on top of me, I remember feeling trapped. and I don't know, I'm sick of it.
Everyone I try and open up to about this, they just skirt around the subject. I'm not sure if they think I'm making this up or not. But this is what happened and it is still bothering me. I just feel alone. Like surely the fact I said no and tried to push him away means something, so what if he was my boyfriend. I understand that the situation is complex but I'm not crazy in thinking he did something wrong?
(Also sorry I say 'and' alot.)
submitted by Gloomy_Yogurtcloset to rape [link] [comments]

2020.09.22 05:27 ThrowRA4242424 I (17m) have serious feelings for a really good friend (17f) and I don't know how to get it going.

Before, I begin... I know I'm younger than the average poster here but I think I am decently mature enough for a serious relationship with the right person. I am fairly confident she meets most of the criteria for "the right person."
I have had a crush on this girl for 3 years... We became friends during our freshman year and we got pretty close after I confessed my feelings for her (which were unreturned). She knew I was deeply saddened by the rejection, and she gave me space. But whenever something bugged me, she could sense it and make things better. She cared. Plenty of guys were -- and are -- into her at my school. But I know I was different, she actually talked to me unlike the other boys and really cared about me because we were good friends. She has some psych issues and emotional issues that us dumb teens go through, she would tell me about them and trust me, etc. We were *really* good friends... but we never hung out. We didn't text every day, we didn't facetime or anything. We were mostly there for eachother in times of "serious" (what 14 year olds consider serious is not so serious, but to us at the time it was, you know what I mean. Drama and all that) need.
Sophomore year, I get a girlfriend and she gets a boyfriend (one of my friends). My crush and I don't talk, I'm in love with my new GF and she is with her BF, etc. Eventually, I have problems with my GF and I talk to my crush about it.... we don't last much longer. Meanwhile, my crush's boyfriend/my friend has been hardcore cheating on her emotionally, not physically, but emotionally, and eventually they end things after weeks of fighting. My crush talks to me about it. We start talking casually as I help her through things, but she's broken internally.
My crush starts hanging out with me and my friends at football games and stuff at the start of our jr. year in school. We get really close. She's still hurt, but I join her in her car one night and we talk a lot and I cheer her up. I wasn't REEEALLLY into her at this time, I had gotten over her, but I start to imagine us together after the night in her car. Apparently, for the first time since we met, she also start to see us together. We end up hanging at the library after school one day, and we go for a walk at the nearby park. We get caught in some heavy rain, sit really close under a picnic area, it's super romantic. We're laughing and smiling, basically holding eachother, it's real cute. She tells me she had a dream of kissing me, I didn't know what to say so I just teased her about it. Later, when shes getting ready to leave, I jump in the back of her car teasingly and start pretending to burn myself by touching her ceiling light. She grabs me saying stop doing that, obviously we were joking, but she ends up falling in my arms and we stare at eachother and I kiss her. It was the best feeling I ever had. Really.
But this is shortlived. She's still really upset by her breakup with my friend (only 2-3 months prior) and we stop seeing eachother. I get back together with my ex (who honestly I loved so much) and we had an amazing year together until covid came and we broke up again. I was shattered breaking up with my ex again. She started to change as a person too, badly. I couldn't recognize her anymore. But, one day in July this year, I see my crush coincidentally and I just wave out of my car window as I pass her. Later that night, after not speaking to her for SEVERAL months, we sneak out at midnight and hang out until 5 AM. Nothing happened. We just held eachother and talked. But I was desperate and it pushed her away. I finally thought we would be something after not really dating for 3 years, and I was still destroyed by my ex. The roles were swapped. We slowly stop talking and it's ruined. Then about 1-2 weeks ago I texted my crush again. My mind was racing and she let me talk and talk and talk and she seemed to really care.
Even though my crush and I don't hang out like normal friends do, text every day, facetime, etc. We are super, super trusting of eachother. We're there when we need eachother most. She's so absolutely wonderful to me, and I am really nice to her and when we talk it's explosive, it's energetic and it's fast, but time seems to hold still because I know that only happens once in a while and I want to treasure the moment for as long as possible.
So my question is this: When we are both so vulnerable with eachother, and me coming out of a really dark time in my life, how the hell can I finally move things forward with this girl I've wanted for 3 years? She's SUPER noncomittal in relationships unless it's a really special case, and I think I can be that special case given how trusting we are of eachother and how insanely good (and mature) friends we are. It's really hard to get into a relationship with her, and honestly I want to just date/vibe together for a few months. I want to hang out with her, text once in a while (not every day, that's unnecessary and will just make us be obsessed or something, not actually in love maturely) and ask her to be my girlfriend months down the line when we're ready. But how can I get the ball rolling with her?
I know this is a long story, but it's the most important story I have to share right now. I appreciate ANY amount of quality help. Thank you friends. Writing this was therapeutic, at the least.
submitted by ThrowRA4242424 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2020.09.22 02:22 hailbutter Why do I hate hearing about my friend's trauma and issues so much??

I LOVE my best friend. I care about her so so much. She's a great person and we're planning on becoming roommates in a year or so. I know that whatever issue I'm having is coming from me, and I'm just hoping that maybe someone else will understand or be able to offer some advice.
Whenever my friend brings up her past (she witnessed a lot of abuse in her childhood), her trust issues in relationships, or her anxiety, it always makes me feel bad. I don't know how to explain it - it kind of feels like her talking about her issues makes mine less real? She's very open about her traumas and feelings in a super casual way. She's written about her personal recounts of spousal abuse from her childhood in vivid detail as several of her school writing assignments (and each time she'll show me and have me read them. None of her other school assignments, just the ones where she's talking about abuse). She'll bring up her dating history quite often as well, saying how she's gotten hurt and using it to justify why she's being almost cruel to whatever guy she's got a thing with at the moment. She clearly expects complete sympathy from me whenever she tells me, and after hearing the same terrible things repeatedly, I just have a hard time mustering it up. I feel horrible when she tells me about her stepdad beating on her mom while her and her brother had to watch, and I just wish she would stop talking.
I've never been open about my personal issues. So we never talk about me and my stuff, but she knows I've gone through some stuff. She's seen my self-harm scars, and after I lied to her about them she dropped the subject and it hasn't been brought up since. I just don't share things in the way she does. No one knows about my suicidal thoughts, or the emotional abuse I've suffered for years, or the family issues, etc. And honestly, I'd rather keep it that way. But even if I wanted to, I know I wouldn't be able to just throw it around like she does to whoever will listen. We both have anxiety, but whenever she talks about hers, I really can't get in a word about mine. It's just about her.
This started bugging me a lot more yesterday, when we were listening to music in the car. I was in charge of picking a playlist, so I said, "Are we sad? I'm sad. Let's do sad songs." She was visibly very upset over a failed week-long relationship (which mainly ended because of her), so I felt it would be a good fit. She laughed and said, "I am! Why would YOU be sad?!"
...Because my dad died not even two months ago and I have depression?? Both of which she knows!
Anyways, since then I've just been feeling a bit of resentment towards her. I hate feeling this way, and don't want to say anything I don't mean. Any insight or help would be greatly appreciated!
submitted by hailbutter to mentalhealth [link] [comments]

2020.09.22 01:33 halabeekom Virtual date ideas and favourite activities to do together?

Me (22F) and my boo (22M) planned a virtual date on Thursday and I can’t believe we’ve never done this before in the past 2 years. There’s something different about being on call all the time, chilling and sharing about your day versus actually planning a date with some fun activities. So far we’ve thought of painting together (he went to Walmart and took me along on call and we bought some paints and canvases 🥺), and i think I’ll read to him and we’ll finally get down to watching The Social Dilemma together (I’m really into documentaries and I’ve been bugging him to watch it with me)
Either way, do you guys have any ideas? I’d love to add it to my list to try out with him. What’s the most fun thing you’ve done with your partner in a virtual date? Ps - if you’ve not tried this yet, do it! I’m getting butterflies in my stomach thinking about dressing up for him even tho we FaceTime every single day lol
submitted by halabeekom to LongDistance [link] [comments]

2020.09.22 01:30 cookd24 What happens to the self-sacrificing, enabler partner’s personality; when the narcissist partner dies?

This is a long winded question with a little side-show rant (as always, I tend to word vomit here).
Most long-term relationships with narcissists involve a partner who is an enabler to some degree and often times they become a fully self-sacrificing enabler while under the long term abuse of a narcissistic partner.
This is obviously the case because a narcissist would not be capable of having partner that does not meet their every (ever changing) need.
The enabler partner begins to form their entire life and thoughts around the needs and principles set by the narcissist partner. The loyalty line for a narcissist (on the more intense scale) spreads to the enabler’s thoughts. They must fully align with any political, religious, economic, and lifestyle ideals of the narcissist or face being discarded and ridiculed (even though the ridicule will likely come with or without agreeing with the narcissist)
I have been thinking about what happens to the enabler partner when the narcissist dies. This is because my stepmom is the self-sacrificing to my narcissist father.
My father is not dead yet, nor is he terminally ill. This question popped in my head since gaining more clarity on the abuse I experienced as a child.
She has become increasingly weathered looking in appearance. Her voice maintains a tone that is not genuine. She sounds either frantic and dramatically enthusiastic.... or disappointed and dead inside. She is incapable of even venting about my father (even when I encourage her that it’s okay to talk about and I won’t judge her, or even disagree with her in reality), without punctuating it with “well he had a hard childhood” or “he can be a really sweet man”.
I have encouraged her to expand her social life. Her and my father live a very isolated life. They own a business together and work together each day (if my dad hasn’t decided not to go to work, in which case she will go in and pick up the slack, then be ridiculed for doing it wrong if she makes a sale by herself). She has lost contact with almost all of her close friends. She hasn’t been able or “allowed” to go visit with her friends or family. Even visiting her terminally ill aunt on her deathbed was a huge point of contention. My father berated her for booking that flight because “how could she be so inconsiderate?” When she had less than several days to see her aunt before she passed away.
She has gone to visit my father’s sister and niece, (he has three sisters but only speaks with this particular one, he wrote the others off years ago) and when she told me about the visit she said “well don’t mention it to dad he doesn’t know I went down there”. She had to hide visiting HIS SISTER whom is the only “family” we even associate with.
She is a very simple woman with very simple desires in life. She likes animals, crocheting, reading, horses and old cars. Most of these things she has no “time” to do now. But the truth is she isn’t allowed to have the time to do that. She would also never spend money on herself without being immensely guilty and over-thinking it. She loves horses. Had horses one way, or another, pretty much her whole life. I don’t think that woman has been on a horse in at least 15 years, possibly more.
She would never, ever think about leaving my father despite the abuse escalating (it’s emotional and verbal abuse by the way). He turns into a babbling, crying, complete jerk to her when he drinks. And now he drinks more and more often lately. She watched when he would emotionally, verbally, and occasionally physically abuse myself and my brother when we were kids and teenager. I used to plead with her to step up and help me when my dad was going off on me. She would tell me she likes to choose her battles. She really never chose any though.
My father is about 13 years older than her and in his mid sixties. She has mentioned to me, that she was somewhat hopeful, that he will want to move to Florida (we live in New England) when he reaches retirement. If this were to happen she would stay behind and run the business and live more independently.
It makes me feel so sad, that her self-esteem is so low that she would rather wait and see if my father will move and let her live alone while she runs his business; rather than divorce him and live a more fulfilling life.
She is very intelligent, extremely hard-working, and self-less. She is also extremely neurotic and probably falls within the spectrum of OCD or some type of compulsive disorder. She is ritualistic and has a “way” things must be done. My father’s narcissism has only perpetuated these behaviors in her.
My father is going to die (eventually), and it will more than likely be before she does (if the f*cking stress doesn’t kill her first).
What will become of my stepmom’s brain when my father dies?
What does it even look like in there?
What personality will she have left after the person who has been holding her brain in his hands for the last.. 20 or so years has died?
Will she lose her mind? Will she become a total weirdo and buy 20 cats? (probably not that she would hate the mess).
Will she even feel any connection with me at all? Was she only there to serve my father? (she was like a mom to me and the only “mom” I had) her behavior indicates that this is likely, and I am at peace with that if it is the case, but I’d still need to grieve that relationship completely if that becomes the case.
Will I even want a relationship with this woman now that I understand the role she played in my abuse? What nourishment could either of us possibly derive from this skeletal relationship. She helped repeat the cycle that was done to her. Is she too ashamed to ever admit what she has done? Do I care?
Will she ever date? Is she even capable of meeting new people? Friends? Does she have anything to say, if she doesn’t know what she’s allowed to/not allowed to say or think?
Did she ever have an identity? Were her childhood wounds so deep that she never decided she was worth having her own personality?
Was there ever a personality or just many layers of neuroses in a trench coat pretending to be one?
If I have to be NC with her as a result of her loyalty to my father, (I cannot be exposed to his behavior anymore, not even second hand). Does her loyalty end when he dies? Or is she going to be scared still? Is the fear of my father’s disapproval so deeply imbedded after all these years of mind-molding, that she doesn’t consciously realize it is fear? As if that fear has become her personality???
Am I projecting ineptness on her because I have some deep, still undiscovered lens? Am I somehow seeing her through some of my father’s bugs still left in my brain? Or have I fully discovered that she does not have the strength I once looked up to and hoped to have?
Sorry for the long post, I know I used the question flare, and this is a question. I thought about this on my drive home from work. Now that I have sat down I have rambled and expanded freely so thanks for reading if you did, this helps sooooo much to just throw this junk out there. Please feel free to share thoughts and experiences with this on this thread.
Thank you folks so much for sharing and making us feel seen and heard!
submitted by cookd24 to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]

2020.09.22 01:30 halabeekom Virtual date ideas and favourite activities to do together?

Me (22F) and my boo (22M) planned a virtual date on Thursday and I can’t believe we’ve never done this before in the past 2 years. There’s something different about being on call all the time, chilling and sharing about your day versus actually planning a date with some fun activities. So far we’ve thought of painting together (he went to Walmart and took me along on call and we bought some paints and canvases 🥺), and i think I’ll read to him and we’ll finally get down to watching The Social Dilemma together (I’m really into documentaries and I’ve been bugging him to watch it with me)
Either way, do you guys have any ideas? I’d love to add it to my list to try out with him. What’s the most fun thing you’ve done with your partner in a virtual date? Ps - if you’ve not tried this yet, do it! I’m getting butterflies in my stomach thinking about dressing up for him even tho we FaceTime every single day lol
submitted by halabeekom to LDR [link] [comments]

2020.09.21 21:35 bodaha123 I have a really really attached friend

I am 27 years old female and never experienced this before. My friend, 32 (f) just got out of a relationship. She was super obsessed with this guy she lived with, they dated, and he left her. She continued to knock on his door, text him, bug him, convinced herself he loved her too even though he never said it...a bit delusional on her end. I helped her through it all. We became close friends. I enjoy hanging with her, we hike a lot, and do a lot of activities together. But now, she is attached to me lol
She is the sweetest girl in the world. She suffered from childhood trauma, dad died, mom is a heroin-addict, and I know she has no family. She functions very well, she has a normal functioning (job, car, she doesn't do drugs or drink alcohol etc). She's a very healthy girl but she just has a ton of anxiety.
She calls me everyday, texts me all the time to see what Im doing or wants to join in on whatever I am doing. Im frequently with my boyfriend and she will purposely hike or find an activity in the area (an hour away) in hopes I will call her or ask her to hang. She doesn't know how to be alone. I know she really looks up to me and tells all her other friends about me, but I'm feeling uncomfortable.
If I don't talk to her for more than a day, she asks how my day was by at least the night time....or what did you do today? what you doing this week? how about morning? Can I come over? I know she probably has zero social skills. But its extremely overbearing. Like one time I told her i'd be gone with my family for the weekend in Maine, and she drove from CT to Maine with a friend to go hiking...OUT OF NOWHERE...then texted me that she was in the area in hopes I'd want to meet up lol. Just weird. It happens often. Or she'll visit me at work. I have talked to her before. I politely told her she is overbearing when she calls a lot and I need my space. I explained that my other friends dont do this. The only thing that has changed since the talk... is she just asks politely now if it's OK to call me, before she does lol but still calls me a lot.
and of course I have issues with boundaries and telling people no. I don't want to hurt her feelings but she is up my ass, Im about to lose it lol I feel very mean, and I'm working on being a nicer person but I am struggling with this. My boyfriend and I are having a huge trip coming this Fall with all our friends, and I dont want to invite her (its his bday not mine, and he is not feeling her anxious vibe being around for a calm weekend)...although I know she will be pretty upset if I don't invite her.
I'm also moving and she wants to come with me. I originally said yes but this has gotten worse since I am reconsidering. Gosh. I would break her heart. She is sweet. I even suggested therapy for her but it's not my place.
submitted by bodaha123 to Advice [link] [comments]

2020.09.21 19:23 Vaughanflowers Boyfriend likes other girls photos on instagram after I’ve asked him to stop.

My boyfriend (21) and I (21) have been dating for 2 years now. Our relationship has been great. Amazing actually. He’s been overall good to me. Has never been verbally or physically abusive. We never really have conflicts and on the rare occasion that we do, it’s NEVER serious just little bickering. When we do have disagreements we talk it out and it’s overall a very productive talk. We both are there for each other emotionally. We give each other our space. We don’t share passwords and we hang out with each of our friends and over all I’m very happy with him. He’s says he’s very happy with me. His family likes me a lot and our relationship is very comfortable and there’s lots of love and the sex is amazing for all that matters. He’s a conventionally attractive male and I’ve been told I’m attractive as well and it’s something I’ve always heard all my life. Not to toot my own horn but it’s usually one of the first things people bring up (you’re so pretty!!) and I’ve gotten a lot of opportunities on social media because of my looks. But even with all of that I’m still a little insecure sometimes. Specially recently on gaining a small bit of weight in unflattering areas. We’re also a interracial couple (he’s a white male) with all his ex’s being white women and me being the only person of color. A part of me always fears of him going back to a white woman if we ever break up. (I’ll explain why I’m mentioning that below) It’s silly I know maybe only interracial couples know what I’m trying to say.
I’ve never had to really question him or his intentions though at least not till now. I always get likes on my photos of guys with girlfriends and part of me feels bad for the girl because to me it’s pretty disrespectful to like other girls photos specially bikini pictures or pictures with captions like “he’s with you but he wants me” (not that I post that) however I’ve never liked the idea because I can see from my perspective that I often times pitty the girls because it just doesn’t look right specially after their boyfriends spam my account or like every single post and don’t even like their own girlfriends post. I’ve also heard from other girls “damn he’s with her but he stays liking my pics” it can definitely be a lot more than it is in the girl world. Specially when the guy is attractive to most girls like my boyfriend is. So to the point of this. My boyfriend liked a couple pictures of very attractive girls on Instagram in the end of our first year together. Not influencers but locals. I let him know I really didn’t like it and explained to him that it made me feel insecure and he “stopped”. Then instagram took off the liked photos option and so I don’t really know if he continued or not until I was on my explore page and saw a girl that was pretty and as soon as I saw the picture I saw he had liked it and it turns out it was somebody in the area. It was also a bikini picture so I got pretty upset and I went through all the girls on his following list and checked to see if he liked any other ones and sure enough he did. It was also in the span of a couple days. I know that behavior is a bit toxic and it made me feel really ashamed of myself but the fact that I found what I was looking for well it justified it for me. I confronted him about it. I was really upset because a little while before I had confessed to him my deepest insecurities about myself. I cried in front of him and he himself even got a little teary eyed and comforted me and to me he seemed to understand. I nearly broke up with him that night because I felt so betrayed. Mostly because he knew how much it would hurt me to see that he still did it without even considering my feelings. Specially a photo of a white girl with a great body in a bikini that literally lives in the same town as him. This happened in august maybe, it’s now September and last night I had a really bad dream. I woke up and to try to sleep I went on instagram and saw he had a photo up so I went through his likes because I noticed he got more than usual and something in me told me to look at the first account of some this girl and so I did and I saw her first picture with a petty caption something similar to “you like me more “ some bullshit like that and he sure enough liked it. After almost breaking up not even a month ago after he cried to me and told me he didn’t want to loose me he decided to completely disregard my feelings and do it again. He liked it with a caption like that. He even promised he wouldn’t the second time around. I ask him if it was such a big deal that he just HAD to like another girls picture and he said no. But he did it again. It’s always white blond girls too and that doesn’t help my insecurities from being an interracial couple. By all means I am not envious of white women in general. They’re beautiful but I love being a latina and we’re all very beautiful and he doesn’t fetishize that in me. He would date anyone of any race I just can’t help but to notice it’s always blondes (he says he doesn’t even like blondes that much). Why does he feel the need to have to like their picture s even if that means causing an argument. We do share our location for safety reasons and she is from a further town away he sometimes visits but honestly I don’t get the inclination that he’s cheating on me. I don’t think he would ever do that honestly. When I asked him why he says “I don’t know I’m an idiot” that’s his answer all the time. I ask him to talk to me about it to let me know if maybe he doesn’t think liking a picture is a big deal. Maybe if he just told me that then maybe I wouldn’t be so upset when I see it but the fact that he just plays dumb is so upsetting to me. Also the fact that he knows how much it hurts me to see that and at this point it’s not even about the girl it’s about the fact that I’ve asked him to stop twice and he’s seen how hurt I’ve been by it and he still does it. It makes me question myself. He says he loves me. He shows me he loves me. We have such a great relationship and I’m so happy with him but it’s just this that he does that really just makes me question everything. It’s making me feel more suspicious more jealous and I know that’s toxic behavior and I don’t want to be accusing him of stuff because I know that’s not fair to him but I just don’t know why he does it even after I’ve asked him to stop because he will absolutely not tell me. He just calls himself an idiot. I want to fix things but he can not communicate with me on this one thing. He said he wouldn’t do it again but at this point I don’t believe him.
Should I be this worried? Am I overreacting or being controlling?
I try my best to be the best person I can be to him and I try to be confident and give him space and not be controlling whatsoever but I just feel like this is hurting me and in the long run it might be the fall of our relationship I’m scared it might happen again. I’m scared that if I keep forgiving him he will just do it again and again until I bug off about it. But it really doesn’t sit well with me. It really does upset me and I don’t think it’s too much to ask for because I can very well use social media without liking other pictures of attractive men so what is so hard about that?
submitted by Vaughanflowers to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

9 Extreme Bug Mating Rituals - YouTube Adrien x Marinette - Season 4 Episode 1 - Miraculous ... This 18 Year Old Girl is Dating a 68 Year Old Man - YouTube 【Miraculous Ladybug Comic Dub】Fake Dating AU (Part 1/13) HIS GIRLFRIEND IS A COCKROACH - YouTube Love Bug Dating App Animated Explainer Video The Love Bug (1969) Herbie Gets Angry - YouTube 10 RED FLAGS WHEN DATING A NEW GUY  TAYLOR FAYE 【Miraculous Ladybug Comic Dub】Fake Dating Complete Comic ... [Miraculous Ladybug] Ladybug accepts Cat Noir 's love ...

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  1. 9 Extreme Bug Mating Rituals - YouTube
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